Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What a name!

Why would anyone build a 200:1 scale version of their ego stick and then name it Poseidon’s Rear End Rude Sound? *Heh heh* I just found out that the Ambani rad-pad is called “SEAWIND” (!!??!!) Not the gargantuan TarANTILLA that Mukesh Ambani had all of us dropping our jaws at, but the 14-storey (only!) complex that symbolized their We-are-like-anybody-else-ness (I wish I was also a We-are-like-anybody-else). To be fair, everybody Does dream a little dream of moving into a bigger place in time, and Mukeshji is just like anyone else. There you have it, the We-are-like-anybody-else again. Ok, I’m beginning to get sick of We-are-like-anybody-else. (Did anyone mention sour grapes?)

So we were talking about Seawind. Yeah. The first time I heard it (which was this morning) I thought that it reminded me of the sea’s fart. Seawind, seafart, seawind, seafart, seemypoint? Though it is true, like my good friend Sharath suspects and people close to me know, that I have a dirty mind, I must say that the name in all it unpretentiousness did strike me as ridiculously funny. Reminded me of a huge fart bubble that can be mistaken for an air bubble (pass air bubble!:D) that floated to the surface and burst into a smelly sprinkle of seaspray. (Now you know what the reason behind that not so pleasant sea-smell)

And now I’m going to welcome you to a brand new world. Where innovation inspires you. Where pictures are truer. Where technology liberates you. Where music is finer. Where movies are dramatic (hello? I thought movies were dramatic, period?!) Where 3.5G superiority comes together to leave the world far below (Whathe?? I thought this was supposed to be a new world? And now they tell us we’ve left the WORLD far below) Welcome to OMNIA! Why oh why would anyone call anything Omnia? It sounds so, Aw-min-you-us like in ominous. Then it sounds like insomnia. I don’t know about you, but to me, then it sounds like a really bad idea. It’s a really strange name for a (shudder) “New world”. Reminds be of the album cover of Iron Maiden’s Brave New World with all those creepy skeletons and all. Think about it. It’s so eerily doom prophetic types. A world filled with dark clouds and global warming, unwhaled heaving seas and Agent Smiths, concrete claustrophobia and slimy green numbers crawling up and down a computer screen like mutant ants (grimaceshuddergrimace!!) Ok so my idea of the apocalypse is a little Matrixesque but that’s what Omnia brings to my mind.

If you’ve got some fantastic reason why Omnia is a good name, like if it means something, do let me know. And while you’re at it, did you know that an ostrich’s brain is smaller than its eye. And please save the “bigger than my brain” jokes. Leave my brain out of this OK?

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