I have known for sometime that farmville is a clever ploy by the agent smiths of the world to get us obsessed with the other dimension they advocate. This so-called application on facebook had most of my friends occupied, preoccupied and bloodyoccupied up to their noses in virtual reality compost, mud and chicken feed. Everyone was a farmer and everyone was sowing and reaping and harvesting and prospering and becoming neighbours and winning yellow ribbons and finding lost black sheep (I thought that’s why they were black sheep in the first place, cos they were lost) and ugly bulls and all. The competitive got even more competitive in the guise of friendship. So-and-so has invited you to join Farmville, an innocuous little notification would, er.., notify. It kinda goes like this
“Howdy friend! Come be my friend in FarmVille, where you can grow delicious fruits and vegetables on your very own farm!”
Sounds warm and friendly and all that jazz enough. But ha-ha it’s actually someone who wants to win more yellow ribbons than you can tie around an old oak tree. Have you ever heard of a Friendly Farmers Association? In all probability you haven’t, cos they’re all trying to grow the biggest potatoes or tomatoes or egos. soon enough you start to get invites that sound a lot like “You scratch my back, I scratch yours”
“Here is an Apricot Tree for your farm in FarmVille. Could you help me by sending a gift back?”
“Here is a Reindeer for your farm in FarmVille. Could you help me by sending a gift back?”
“Here is a Red Present for your farm in FarmVille. Could you help me by sending a gift back?”
“Here is a Chicken for your farm in FarmVille. Could you help me by sending a gift back?”
“Here is a Cherry Tree for your farm in FarmVille. Could you help me by sending a gift back?”
And everyone’s still furiously sowing and reaping and harvesting and exchanging and prospering and wasting time and obsessing and becoming neighbours and winning yellow ribbons and finding lost black sheep (Again, isn't that why they are black sheep, in the first place) and ugly bulls and all. Why, one of my friends even shared her password with a lot of people so that they all could log in and play Farmville for her, when her net connection at home was facing technical difficulties (possibly fatigue from all the farming) Talk about dedication! But still I had no idea how strong this invasion into our reality was until this conversation happened between two of my friends, whom I’d call “A-life-less-ordinary” and “A-little-Extraordinary” here because the characters in here are not fictitious and resemblance is not coincidental and in all probability, one, or worse, both of them could come and bop me.
11:02am A-life-less-ordinary: Hey A-little-Extraordinary
11:02am A-little-Extraordinary: hey A- life-less-ordinary
how r u ??/
11:02am A-life-less-ordinary: i am ok
i need a small help
11:03am A-little-Extraordinary: yeah tel me
11:03am A-life-less-ordinary: I have sent u a farmville neighbour request, can u please add me as ur neighbour?
11:04am A-little-Extraordinary: lol!! ok ..i thot its a real thing
11:04am A-life-less-ordinary: hmm
11:04am A-little-Extraordinary: i don't use farmville anynore
but i can restart. i have enuf pending gifts
11:05am A-life-less-ordinary: ok..no issues..i am running out of neighbours
but how then do u spend ur time?
i mean do u go for work?
11:06am A-little-Extraordinary: if i am not on farmville??? i don't work
but i do loads of things
So there you have it people. "No farmville. No life." If you aren’t on Farmville, WHAT do you do? This question can go down history as a rhetoric of our times. Like the “to be is to do” and other famous words, “As you sow, sow sow and reap” will end up on tee-shirts. Farmville is redemption. Everybody and anybody ought to be on Farmville or else the curse of the children of the corn will be upon them. All of Neo’s and Morpheus’ attempts at realizing the real world were in vain. The agent smiths have won. At least on Facebook.