What would the world have thought if type-casted, yesteryear villains like, ummm Danny Denzongpa made claims or issued public statements about fight scenes that was demanded by the script or if Gulshan Grover ever took the trouble to go blue in the face saying "That rape was demanded by the script. It's not to endorse violence."! Or Amrish Puri apologizing for Mogambo being the sadistic, no-business-being-this-happy f**ker that the script demanded? I can't help wondering cause I don't understand where these actresses are coming from with their "I have no problem exposing if the script demands it" or "it was demanded by the script" or what they seek to achieve with them. Where did this strange practice of validation and denial and all begin? Who has ever heard of actors doing any random thing they liked in a film? Not me, quite certainly. If they did, I shudder to think of what Mallika Sherwat whimsy productions would come out with.
Anyways, geting back to the point, first they leak out the good news "So and so is hitting the gym to look good in a bikini on-screen or so and so are flexing their lip muscles to do a mean liplock." And then they go satya-savithri on us by saying "the script demanded it" when they're actually thinking something along the lines of "dude, you aint seen nothing yet." It's not like I have a problem with on-screen kisses and gold bikinis. Okay I'm lying here. I DO have a problem with the gold bikinis. Oh yes, the gold bikini goddess with her arched torso and her hair flying just right like the bloody seaspray is doing a teasejob on it. I HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM WITH HER. "Ooooh look at me! Look at me and my perfect size zero figure that slips into the tiniest, iitsty-bitsiest gold bikini!! I know a ka-zillion boys across the country are cooking in their hormones picturing me. Oooh look at me. Look at script-demanded-I-be-in-a-bikini me" GAH! Seriously!! The lip-lock was demanded by the script. The bikini was demanded by the script. Maigaaad the script demanded it, so now its our duty to appreciate the trouble they're taking to do justice to the script. They're all heart, no? Such passion.
So my dear actress whomsoever it may concern, I suppose you take us for a bunch of morons. Which we are by the way, for readily appeasing them with media space for their stupid capers and all. "Shilpa Shetty sneezed today!" "NOOOOOO, you don't say!" "Yeaaaasss and not just that Vijay Mallya gave her a hug instead of a tissue. I guess her doctor's prescription demanded it or something"! Back to demanding scripts and all. Why do they say this? Why? Why? Why? Half the populace who make the box office go ka-ching cares a hoot for their precious script. They're going there for their share of booty. Script, schmit indeed. Give us a break. I remember this one time when the release of Dhoom 2 was around the corner, my MALE friend came running up to me his face shining with the light of a thousand suns and he proclaims with ecstasy, I'm going to see Aishwariya Rai in a two-piece. Hallelujah honey, your life-changing moment is here. Embrace it!
Yes you're on a beach and we expect you to be strutting your stuff. Spare us the script demanded that you do your peacock dance thingy. Of course the director would see to it that your script would be very demanding and put you on yacht somewhere for a song sequence wearing the challenge of your film career even if the rest of the film is based in the Sahara. But why does a liplock have such screen mileage. I mean you get to catch the live show in most places. Weird. Or maybe its the steroid equivalent of voyeurism watching a star go at it. I donno. From where I see it, it's nothing to get one's blood up in boil about. Or maybe it is. But nevertheless, actresses get into such a tizzy about their onscreen kisses. Esp when you catch them do their tonsil tennis thingy aplenty in real life, MMS and all. The script demanded it, again? The agonies of filmdom. The script demands this and that, but what are they trying to achieve by boo-hooing about the script. I wish some script would demand Abhishek Bachchan to do a full monty. Now THAT i would pay good money for. Heh heh. But seriously speaking, I'm really looking forward to Raavan. I'm guessing that it was a very, very demanding script in respects that actually shows for something more than just cleavage.