I'm sure we've met before. Yes, of course, you remember my facelessness, don't you? We had a relationship sometime ago? Oh you don't! Well I forgive you. But I have to be honest. There were times when you were the only window open in my life. Like, literally. I would chat with no one else and your pings kept me alive. We've moved on of course. You couldn't keep up with the many wonders that the infiniteness of the netscape offered me.
I'm the internet's equivalent of a streetwalker. I haunt the pages. I check my mail every five minutes. Contrary to popular belief, the world CAN change in five minutes. Like, I know who is bored, who is not, who is busy, who is not, who likes me, who is attending what function, who is on a diet, who cheated on what and whom, who has had a haircut, who has just visited the can, who went drinking last night, who got soooo sloshed that they're going to have more than a hangover to deal with when the buzz is over (facebook on mobile is NOT a great idea, sometimes if you know what I mean), who is seeing who and who broke up. All this can happen in five minutes.
My need for social networking is so great. Social networking is my life. I'm such a facebook slut. Aren't you? 'Like' this, if you do. Or at least post this as your status for five minutes to celebrate the facebook slut sorority. Yes, I'm talking to you, bro! I see you online all the time, you're in the sorority. I'm on facebook. I'm on twitter. I'm on orkut. And on MySpace. and on hi5. And on Bebo. Like, thank God for internet mobile. I cannot imagine missing out on my status updates. Five minutes without my peeps. A peep at my peeps. LOL, get it? I have to tell the whole world what I've been up to. I change my status message at least 25 times a day. Oh the manicure I got yesterday? Uh-uh, not so good. Oh yeah the fudge was great. Nooo, you're getting it wrong, I'm a fairy mythical creature, not a zombie. Really, now you're just being rude! Oh my god, my chickens haven't had any feed yet. Hold on, let me do my farmville thing. Wont take long. Ha, where were we?
Or maybe i'm a kerbcrawler. You know, strike up conversations with any random person we see online? And then we have meaningful conversations and 12 am philosophy. We share secrets, only to regret it later. Sort of like, pick them up? Like, call me kerbkrawler. We rather like spelling our c words with a k anyway on cyberspace. And end words with a z. and put x's where ever they are inapplicable, cos that's what we do, right? Anyway this is what life is about right? Sunshine and reality be damned.