So my parents want me to get married. Not just want, they're bordering on harassment. And not just my parents. The entire community. Including my extended family, my neighbours, their extended family, their neighbours, the extended family of the extended family's neighbours. Or was it the extended family of the neighbours' extended families? Whatever, it doesn't merit grammatical and punctuational (is that a word?) accuracy.
"FOR WHAT?", is what I want to ask all these rather lovely people who have made my life their business. To serve what useful purpose of this very useful institution, may I ask? They won’t let me marry the only person I want to marry. Well to be honest, I'm not sure myself if I want to marry the only person I want to marry. But that's not the question. They won't let me, so ‘for love’ is out of the question.
For children and to keep the bloodline going? I’m a woman so there won’t be any Correyas springing from my loins and besides, we’re entering into an era of scientifically engineered genetically screwed up food. Hello? Do I look I want to raise my kids on three-drumsticks-per-chicken type of chicken and butter endorsed by a four-eyed moppet? Well, FYI, I DO NOT. I'd sooner adopt aliens!
Then, to keep loneliness at bay? I’m getting a husband here, people, not a lifetime validity prepaid connection. He can leave me or I can leave him anytime. There isn't even an anti-straying contract in the picture.
Then umm.. how about someone to drive the car so that you can do your nails? I think I could master driving yet and I don’t do my nails, so next?
Maybe as a sort of companion? I thought we were through this already, grrrr! Maybe you should wake up and then note what time people get back from work these days? Nobody has time for anything they don’t want to have time for, understand. And any man other than my (supposed to be) man comes under Section anything-they-don’t-want-to-have-time-for. Full marks, full qualification.
Okay, so maybe to keep the naatukaaru and the veetukaaru to shut their traps? Please listen to yourselves, realize and think about how pathetic you sound and I’ll think about forgiving you.
Cos you’re growing older, yeah that’s a real reason. My grandmother is much older, you’re going to find her a husband too?
Then maybe cause you’re waaaaay out of line and it drives us insane to watch you have so much fun? Ah-ha there you have it, the real reason huh, you people-with-terrible-envy-in-your-heart, you!! And sorry, that's hardly a real reason. Nice talking to you!