Dear Mum, Dad, this might come as a shock to you. But i'm in love. No, the shock has nothing to do with the new challenge this poses to the established fact that I'm incapable of loving but about the object of my affection. Whom I'm in love with. Mum, Dad I'm emotionally involved with my potato salad. I've been watching too much of the Twilight saga and this happily-ever-after and falling in love with your food has gone to my head (not my stomach). If Edward can fall in love with his dinner, why can't I? I know this is extremely hard for you. But I'm a big girl now and I am in love afterall. I love Twilight. Twilight is my life. If the lion can fall in love with his stupid, stupid lambchop, why can't I fall for my spud-boy? The way I feel about it..no it's not gas. It's the real deal..butterflies..oh so many butterflies. In my stomach. I know it's unconventional and people will talk. But at least I'm not bringing home a hindu or muslim human being, am I!? That would be unpardonable. God forbid i do that. Nor am i bringing home a woman. I assure this is a rather straight, God-fearing catholic potato.
I hope you wil forgive me and find it in your heart to accept our love.
Your loving daughter
(I've changed my name to a mallu-ised version of Bella)