This is all the influence of the movies. Ironically, while I was growing up I heard a lot of “life isn’t what you see on TV.” “Really now? YOU don’t say!” is all I can say, in retrospect, of course.
So now that the confrontation is over and it all looks pretty much useless, I must now cry and throw myself on the bed and bawl my eyes out that I look less like me and more like a basset hound. These are very important lessons. Pay attention. There is a method to everything. So all these movies. I was watching a perfectly wonderful movie the other day. Chithram, for all you Malayalees out there. It kept me laughing throughout. And finally when the heroine and hero take the trouble to fall in love, we discover the hero is a fugitive and he’s slated for, not surgery, not imprisonment, but for fucking capital punishment. The end. Finito. Ever got a resounding slap after being ticked to death? Same feeling! Now what was the point of the movie? Other than leave you with the same feeling a balloon feels when it discovers it’s got a hole somewhere. Inevitable deflatedness.
My mum used to love “Ek dujey ke liye” as a young woman. That horrid, lurid Romeo and Juliet-esque movie where the heroine gets raped and dies and the hero goes and dies as well or something, gets her all dewy eyed. Till date. If that isn’t bad news for me, I don’t know what is. And she speaks absolutely NO Hindi, mind it. So what is it about the whole movie that’s gotten her fancy? ILL FATED LOVE!! God and all the residents of heaven, ..whatever happened to the 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 thingamajig on love, huh? Like love is forever, so all who stands in its way fries KFC-style in hell, hmmm? Not in the Bible? Dang! Just when I thought I was getting somewhere with the scriptures. All the fault of these stooopid film makers. They should have stuck to their “Meri paas maa hai-dishum dishum” routines. All the shaking flowers and the butterfly wings and lovers behind them should have NOT happened. And while I’m at it, I’d also like to ask, why are the modern-day heroines falling in love with either terrorists or vampires? Whatever happened to normal men? Oh, I forgot, they don’t exist. Might as well fall in love with a tyrannosaurus rex in Jurassic Park. Now that would appeal to the family, I bet!