Monday, January 3, 2011


I’m dying to do a lot of things. I'm dying to be famous. I'm dying to travel all over the world. I'm dying to make the best cheesecake in the world. I'm dying to have my own place. I'm dying to shove a grenade up a certain-someone's ass. I'm dying to go on an all-girls trip. AGAIN. I'm dying to eat some fried sardines. I'm dying to be richer than death by chocolate cake. Okay that's a lot of dyings. I'm sure you got the message! But one thing I’m really dying to do is meet someone who has won one of those moronically simple SMS contests. I would really like to meet one in this lifetime. What are the odds huh? First of all, that someone would be sucker enough to reply to those messages. And then, winning something other than an education in why-you-should-never-answer-easy-questions-cos-easy-things-come-with-a-bigger-catch-than-a-cardiac-arrest! Remember how in school, our teachers would get so offended and bark at us "Don't ask me stupid questions!" And someone would be actually, truly, genuinely be having a doubt if the colour of the sky is blue or purple. Colour dyslexia wasn't fashionable in my time! Anyway..stupid questions never had too much of a career. Have you seen Amitabh Bachchan doing his "Bol raha hoon" act about whether TATA is a manufacturing giant or a way of saying bye-bye? No you haven't. Forgive that stupid question there, but I had a point to drive home! And here you are, bombarded by fool operators with questions like this.

Hmmm…so i get this SMS. Sachin Tendulkar is :. A construction worker. B: A cricketer. Answer this question and win a brick of gold. Oh, that is a toughie. Who is Sachin Tendulkar anyway? After much scalp-searching, sorry scratching… I venture Sachin Tendulkar must be a cricket player. Why would there be SMS contests about construction workers? Unless he lays bricks at the speed Asterix beats the shit out of the Romans after he's drunk Getafix's potion. since there is no potion, it must be genuine talent and he deserves to be VERY, very famous, no? Oh damn. Now I'm in a fix!! And i want to win that brick of gold so bad. Only three rupees it'll cost me. Yesterday also i let go of the chance of winning a diamond hawaii chappal by not answering if TV stood for Television or Terrorist Van. I was at such a loss. What do these people think? Everyone prepares for the civil service exams? SO WHO IS SACHIN TENDULKAR, dammit! Can i call a friend? Or could i have a clue? ONE TINY CLUE? Please, please, oh pretty please! And i simply must know the answer to this. Is New Delhi or Pattikad the capital of India? And is the Red Fort red or blue in colour? Now this one gave me sleepless nights. Is the tiger of the cockroach India's national animal? The cockroach isn't even an animal..but it's seen more often than the tiger. A lot more often. Can you imagine, the prize was a platinum nose-digger!! An actual discover-your-platinum-moment-of-love platinum nose-digger! And how many days are there in a year? 365 or thirty five thousand seven hundred and two? Help me. I’m so confused!

I'm honestly eager about meeting one of these 3-rupee costing stupid SMS contest grandmasters. Like I said - SIMPLY DYING!


Meety said...

I wonder if anyone actually wins that so-called sms contests..

MissAnnThrope said...

apparently someone has..i got a message from docomo..strangely immediately after i wrote this :D